The Warden

My new nickname is "The Warden".  Dad was talking to one of Mom's doctors last week, and looked at me, saying, "Well, if the Warden allows it.  She tells us what to do, and if we can do stuff or not."

Those of you who know me know that is partly true.  I admit it freely.  I am bossy.  Given the alternative, this is a necessity in my life.  I don't always know when to stop being bossy (don't lose your coffee here, friends).  As far as the 'rents are concerned, however, it is a requirement.

Dad is a hoarder, and we have to make sure he doesn't stash his crap everywhere because getting it out of where he puts it can be impossible.  We now give deadlines - "you can keep this until Saturday.  If you don't find a place for it, we are throwing it out."  Another reason for the nickname.

Last week on Sunday, my sister and I ganged up on Dad - she was on one side, me on the other.  Dad couldn't move away.  He was cornered.  Dad's been pretty whiny lately, complaining about Mom, and his life.  "No one is available during the week to watch her.  You don't understand, I have to be with her."  First, not true.  Carla chills with Mom on Wednesdays, either at our house, or for lunch at the bar.  Dad didn't want to give up control of Mom, so would not take advantage of any of the services available, until we made him.

Amy: "Dad, here's this information from this place.  Go find out about it tomorrow."

Me: "You need a break, here it is.  Sliding scale fees, good activities."

Dad: "I don't want to do that.  She doesn't want to go anywhere."

Me: "This is not a choice she can make.  Bring her, introduce her, leave her, wherever you decide to bring her - the Baldwin Center, this other place on Barnum Ave Cutoff".

Amy: "It's not good for her to sit on the couch every day and watch Family Feud."

Me: "You have to do this - she'll like it and you'll have free time.  You probably only have to pay a little bit."

Amy: "This is important, Dad."

We finally let Dad talk...

"Well, OK, I'll check on this tomorrow."

The Warden had spoken, with the support of the sister.

Of course, Dad did follow through, hooking Mom up at the Baldwin Center (our Senior Center) 2 days a week for an excellent day care program that starts either 9 or 9:30 (still not sure), and ends either 2 or 2:30. The only openings were Tuesdays and Fridays so that's when she goes.  The cost is minimal, the people get coffee and...as well as lunch.  All activities (singing, coloring - lots of people like to color!, crafts) are included, and there is a limit to how many can be accepted.

We are now in the next big stage, but the Warden is at her post.


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