Mom's turn...
I realized that I primarily write about my Dad. Not sure why, but I thought Mom should get a bit of equal time, especially since I've been spending a significant about of time with her these days.
This dementia stuff is quite interesting to observe, and while it can be heart breaking to do this, it is also full of humor. Mom and my son sit on the couch, and Mom says to him, "I don't know what I'm doing." this comes right out of the blue while they watch television together. Fortunately the kid "gets it" and says, "I don't know what I'm doing either, Grammie." He laughs, she laughs.
Mom isn't going outside undressed or anything, but the routine that most of us use when getting ready for the day is lost to her. I lay her clothes out at night, making sure to put a different color underwear out, and different color socks as well. If I don't do that, I can't be sure the clean underwear and clean socks get put on.
I wake Mom up. She is now alright with getting up early, as we have a routine. I say, "Get dressed" and give her the first 2 steps on the itinerary for the day ("Going to eat breakfast, then to the Baldwin"). 2 steps is about all that can be followed.
Back in my room, I go through my routine, a slammin' quick shower, then out to check on the progress. Typically, she will have her socks, sneakers, underwear and bra on. Sometimes I have to check for clean/unclean, sometimes we're all good.
I help her out, then quickly get my own act in gear. I've got it down to about 8 minutes, including accessories. Mom is usually good to go, except for deodorant, teeth and hair. She needs a little help with that, and knows it - "What do I do now?" Routine is good and it took us about 10 days to get into this one.
We go down stairs after the Secret, Crest, and hair, with Mom asking what's the next thing. Sometimes HoneyNut Cheerios at home, sometimes breakfast at my wonderful Aunt and Uncle's. When I'm in my work clothes, Mom automatically moves very fast, saying, "You're going to work so I need to hurry."
One day this week, I had to bring her to a non-typical stop on the Magical Mom Tour, and we were on our way - she says, "Well, we made it! You'll be on time!"
Other days, my wonderful sister-in-law comes over, taking her weary bones out of her house so very early to keep Mom in her own environment. We are so very fortunate to have wonderful people here in our lives.
My sister picks her up after work a few days, does the dinner thing, and brings her to see her husband as well. It's working.
Friday, Mom got up, and said, "Baldwin Center today, right?" We're doing the CARES program 3 days a week so it's a good guess, but she was very happy to be right.
We've had some challenges too. Last week, she lost her balance walking across the kitchen and fell hard into the wall, hitting the side of her head. An egg blossomed, we froze it down. She ended up with a shiner that you can see from miles away! Every time she looks in the mirror we tell her another story about it!
It was only about a week that she needed to realize her husband was in the hospital. The sad part, however, is she doesn't really know she lives here. She thinks she lives in Lordship. I can't address that with her because that would mean talking to her about my sister who died. There are some good things about not remembering stuff.
We'll have some challenges this week when her husband comes home. He'll push against the routine, argue about what we've taken away from him with regard to Mom's meds and clothes.
But he's coming up against the Warden, who will be home a lot more often after this coming Friday.
This dementia stuff is quite interesting to observe, and while it can be heart breaking to do this, it is also full of humor. Mom and my son sit on the couch, and Mom says to him, "I don't know what I'm doing." this comes right out of the blue while they watch television together. Fortunately the kid "gets it" and says, "I don't know what I'm doing either, Grammie." He laughs, she laughs.
Mom isn't going outside undressed or anything, but the routine that most of us use when getting ready for the day is lost to her. I lay her clothes out at night, making sure to put a different color underwear out, and different color socks as well. If I don't do that, I can't be sure the clean underwear and clean socks get put on.
I wake Mom up. She is now alright with getting up early, as we have a routine. I say, "Get dressed" and give her the first 2 steps on the itinerary for the day ("Going to eat breakfast, then to the Baldwin"). 2 steps is about all that can be followed.
Back in my room, I go through my routine, a slammin' quick shower, then out to check on the progress. Typically, she will have her socks, sneakers, underwear and bra on. Sometimes I have to check for clean/unclean, sometimes we're all good.
I help her out, then quickly get my own act in gear. I've got it down to about 8 minutes, including accessories. Mom is usually good to go, except for deodorant, teeth and hair. She needs a little help with that, and knows it - "What do I do now?" Routine is good and it took us about 10 days to get into this one.
We go down stairs after the Secret, Crest, and hair, with Mom asking what's the next thing. Sometimes HoneyNut Cheerios at home, sometimes breakfast at my wonderful Aunt and Uncle's. When I'm in my work clothes, Mom automatically moves very fast, saying, "You're going to work so I need to hurry."
One day this week, I had to bring her to a non-typical stop on the Magical Mom Tour, and we were on our way - she says, "Well, we made it! You'll be on time!"
Other days, my wonderful sister-in-law comes over, taking her weary bones out of her house so very early to keep Mom in her own environment. We are so very fortunate to have wonderful people here in our lives.
My sister picks her up after work a few days, does the dinner thing, and brings her to see her husband as well. It's working.
Friday, Mom got up, and said, "Baldwin Center today, right?" We're doing the CARES program 3 days a week so it's a good guess, but she was very happy to be right.
We've had some challenges too. Last week, she lost her balance walking across the kitchen and fell hard into the wall, hitting the side of her head. An egg blossomed, we froze it down. She ended up with a shiner that you can see from miles away! Every time she looks in the mirror we tell her another story about it!
It was only about a week that she needed to realize her husband was in the hospital. The sad part, however, is she doesn't really know she lives here. She thinks she lives in Lordship. I can't address that with her because that would mean talking to her about my sister who died. There are some good things about not remembering stuff.
We'll have some challenges this week when her husband comes home. He'll push against the routine, argue about what we've taken away from him with regard to Mom's meds and clothes.
But he's coming up against the Warden, who will be home a lot more often after this coming Friday.
Comments
Post a Comment