What our Parents Give Us
This afternoon, I was waiting for my husband and finally said, "Come on, let's go"...and heard my mother's voice saying those words. I then said immediately, "Oh my God, I sound just like my mother." I smiled, cause it wasn't such a bad sound.
It's been a while since I recognized that, probably because she wasn't very coherent before she passed, or maybe because the words she did use weren't words I used.
Mom used to say that when she got tired, no matter where she was. If she was here at our house, she said it, even when going home meant going upstairs. If she was at the diner, she said it, at my sister's she said it. Then when Mom and Dad moved to Senior Housing, she said it all the time to my Dad, or to me when I sat with her.
At the hospital she said it, then at the nursing home in Southport. When she stopped saying it, I knew she was gone to us.
Those four words were her trademark - Dad would try to weasel around the words so he could hang out a while longer, or he would try to provoke them if he was tired. He knew, though, he had to wait for her to say them before he got an out from wherever they were.
I sometimes sound like my Dad, and act like him too (or so I've been told...and you know who you are). He can be whiny (nickname of Squeaky on all his athletic jackets over the years), our syntax is similar, and he also talks over people (sorry, I know I do that). However, it is evident that he is aging a bit faster than when Mom was still with us, and I am trying to pick up on more of his good habits and idiosyncracies.
He can be sweet when he wants to be, and generous as well. He remembers, most of the time, your illnesses and bad historical details. Once in a while he is very tactful, and does have the ability to try new things, including food (learned that while traveling in NOLA with him). For an old dog, he's not awfully bad at learning new tricks. And he really loves his grandchildren, even if he disses them sometimes. He has a hearty laugh, and no fear of crying and moves on when it is necessary (after stressing for a bit - -which could be a month).
So I am trying to pick up more of his good qualities, and recognize more of them. I am also trying to recognize when I am working with his bad qualities. That's not so hard, as I have plenty of folks reminding me of that! I love you all, too.
As for Mom? Well, I often heard her words coming out of my mouth when my kids were young and in need of them. Last week, our Meghan brought over our pseudograndkids, and I had the pleasure of hearing my words, via Mom's words, coming out of Meghan's mouth as she straightened out a bit of a whine from one of the four..."I didn't ask you what you wanted. Now let's go." It was mattter of fact, the tone was perfect, and Meghan's body language was impeccably unchallengeable.
This week, I also had the pleasure of seeing Mom's appreciation for nature and all the wonders of life reflected in our Jeremiah's writing on Instagram. A simple picture of a tree and the sky, with all the wonder of that simplicity inherent in his words.
And our Casey? Even long distance, I can sense her adventurous spirit as she works to fulfill her goals, a step or 2 at a time. Mom was ever the adventure seeker, and Casey has chosen to follow in those footsteps in a modern way, as she moved into a strange and different place and is making her bones there. She reminded me of this when I spoke with her and teared up a bit, knowing how proud Mom was of her for taking the leap off the cliff three years ago.
It's been a while since I recognized that, probably because she wasn't very coherent before she passed, or maybe because the words she did use weren't words I used.
Mom used to say that when she got tired, no matter where she was. If she was here at our house, she said it, even when going home meant going upstairs. If she was at the diner, she said it, at my sister's she said it. Then when Mom and Dad moved to Senior Housing, she said it all the time to my Dad, or to me when I sat with her.
At the hospital she said it, then at the nursing home in Southport. When she stopped saying it, I knew she was gone to us.
Those four words were her trademark - Dad would try to weasel around the words so he could hang out a while longer, or he would try to provoke them if he was tired. He knew, though, he had to wait for her to say them before he got an out from wherever they were.
I sometimes sound like my Dad, and act like him too (or so I've been told...and you know who you are). He can be whiny (nickname of Squeaky on all his athletic jackets over the years), our syntax is similar, and he also talks over people (sorry, I know I do that). However, it is evident that he is aging a bit faster than when Mom was still with us, and I am trying to pick up on more of his good habits and idiosyncracies.
He can be sweet when he wants to be, and generous as well. He remembers, most of the time, your illnesses and bad historical details. Once in a while he is very tactful, and does have the ability to try new things, including food (learned that while traveling in NOLA with him). For an old dog, he's not awfully bad at learning new tricks. And he really loves his grandchildren, even if he disses them sometimes. He has a hearty laugh, and no fear of crying and moves on when it is necessary (after stressing for a bit - -which could be a month).
So I am trying to pick up more of his good qualities, and recognize more of them. I am also trying to recognize when I am working with his bad qualities. That's not so hard, as I have plenty of folks reminding me of that! I love you all, too.
As for Mom? Well, I often heard her words coming out of my mouth when my kids were young and in need of them. Last week, our Meghan brought over our pseudograndkids, and I had the pleasure of hearing my words, via Mom's words, coming out of Meghan's mouth as she straightened out a bit of a whine from one of the four..."I didn't ask you what you wanted. Now let's go." It was mattter of fact, the tone was perfect, and Meghan's body language was impeccably unchallengeable.
This week, I also had the pleasure of seeing Mom's appreciation for nature and all the wonders of life reflected in our Jeremiah's writing on Instagram. A simple picture of a tree and the sky, with all the wonder of that simplicity inherent in his words.
And our Casey? Even long distance, I can sense her adventurous spirit as she works to fulfill her goals, a step or 2 at a time. Mom was ever the adventure seeker, and Casey has chosen to follow in those footsteps in a modern way, as she moved into a strange and different place and is making her bones there. She reminded me of this when I spoke with her and teared up a bit, knowing how proud Mom was of her for taking the leap off the cliff three years ago.
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