Reflections
Wow, it's been a busy, crazy summer, hasn't it? But here we are, now in Fall. One of my favorite times of year. The weather is more accomodating to my hot flashes, and I can garden again. It has always been a time of reflection for me - taking stock of my life. It almost feels like my year runs from Fall to Summer, rather than January to December. Well, I can do that, can't I?
Remember when you were young (like a teenager young) and you were caught between fitting in and acting out? I have to say, I think I should have acted out a bit more. I feel like I do that way more often now than I ever did. Fitting in is so much less important. So I wear my tie-dye dresses, and got some ink in visible places (almost ready for a new piece). I had apple pie with ice cream for breakfast at the diner last week...and others looked at me funny and I said, "You had a choice - you too could have chosen this!".
It was busy this summer, and I have some serious reflecting to do. Our youngest came North for a week (I almost wrote Home, but Home is New Orleans for her), and that was great. I need to reflect on our changing relationship, though. She is truly the mistress of her ship now, but needs some soothing about that change. OMG - she is on the phone NOW...
The middle one is just bossy, especially about food. He wants us to eat better so he grades our refrigerator all the time. That can be annoying. Then I have to hide my goodies! We are really eating better with our farm food every week. Although I don't know when I am going to make and eat all of these eggplants.
The eldest has been the mistress of her ship for a while now, but occasionally reaches out for tech help or has strange questions. I'm convinced that's just to stay in touch.
My Dad (sometimes like a fourth child), on the other hand, got a bee in his bonnet that he needed to see his sister-in-law in North Carolina. He hadn't seen her or her husband for at least 3 years. So I cleared my schedule best as I could and drove with him to NC. We did the ride this past week and stayed for 2 days, then came home. I told him that fish and visitors stink after 3 days so 2 was our limit.
It was a good time to go, a good time to see my Aunt and her husband. The weather was good, the company was better. Dementia runs in our family on Mom's side, it seems. So that was one of the reasons Dad was insistent on going - to check out his sister-in-law, who he loves dearly. All is well on that front, right now. It is slow, and her husband is really doing what he can to keep it that way.
Dad, of course, has his own opinions of what to do for her, but it isn't his business. That was really our only issue. It came up, of course, on the Connecticut Tpk...yup, that's right. We made it all the way to Connecticut without discussing dementia, or Mom, or his sister-in-law.
So I did manage to sidestep his "I think I did a really good job with your Mother" comments with "You did the best you could with what you had"...but he didn't listen.
Good stuff happened, too, though. Driving is good reflection time, isn't it? Dad didn't really talk very much - I'm thinking he probably was reflecting on Mom and their drives south. They must have done that ride (south and north) over 80 times in their lives together.
On the road, we did well on the way down. We did talk a bit about some of the family rides we took south and north. He also pretty much just second guessed the GPS (I think he thinks it's like magic). He tried to set up Sirius XM on the 50's station so I let that go when we started out, then switched it to th 60's and we went up the decades over the course of the trip home. I didn't put him through Howard Stern because that would have been more likely to start a rant. Eleven and a half hours down - good time!
We did some window/cheapo shopping one day while there, so he did get the chance to tell everyone where he was from, who I was, who his sister-in-law was, where he worked, about his wife who died (and what she died from). Yeah, that was sort of fun, because I just took my Aunt and we walked away. She had a good time with it all.
We got to chat about old memories, and I found out some cool family stuff from when Mom was young, that I didn't know. Can't write about that, though. Buy me lunch, and maybe I'll spill it.
On the way back to Connecticut, we had a traffic issue, with a shutdown of I-95 outside of Fredricksburg. The GPS lady told us about it, but he didn't believe her. I let him drive after breakfast, which ended up being good because then I could verify we HAD to take the detour. I loved the detour - Spotsylvania County all through the battlefields of the Civil War. Historic and beautifully wild alternating with crops and horses.
We hit Richmond, where Phillip Morris is - the big tall sign with Marlboro on it.
"Is that Chesterfield? I think that's Chesterfield".
"It's Phillip Morris, Dad".
"That must be Chesterfield".
"Phillip Morris, Dad. It's Phillip Morris".
"I'm pretty sure that's Chesterfield, isn't it?".
"Phillip Morris".
"Oh, that's Phillip Morris."
Amazingly I kept the same monotone voice out loud. My voice in my head, though, was not so monotone.
Oh, and it took 12 and a half hours to come back - only because he said, "No traffic, huh?" when we were approaching the George Washington Bridge. Why do we always say "George Washington Bridge" anyway? It's never the Washington Bridge, sometimes the "GW", but never the "Washington".
This is my second road trip with Dad this year, and I sort of hope, with a little part of me, that I get to do another one, for good reasons. Another part of me is screaming, "Are you FREAKING crazy?"
Reflecting is a good thing for fall, isn't it?
Remember when you were young (like a teenager young) and you were caught between fitting in and acting out? I have to say, I think I should have acted out a bit more. I feel like I do that way more often now than I ever did. Fitting in is so much less important. So I wear my tie-dye dresses, and got some ink in visible places (almost ready for a new piece). I had apple pie with ice cream for breakfast at the diner last week...and others looked at me funny and I said, "You had a choice - you too could have chosen this!".
It was busy this summer, and I have some serious reflecting to do. Our youngest came North for a week (I almost wrote Home, but Home is New Orleans for her), and that was great. I need to reflect on our changing relationship, though. She is truly the mistress of her ship now, but needs some soothing about that change. OMG - she is on the phone NOW...
The middle one is just bossy, especially about food. He wants us to eat better so he grades our refrigerator all the time. That can be annoying. Then I have to hide my goodies! We are really eating better with our farm food every week. Although I don't know when I am going to make and eat all of these eggplants.
The eldest has been the mistress of her ship for a while now, but occasionally reaches out for tech help or has strange questions. I'm convinced that's just to stay in touch.
My Dad (sometimes like a fourth child), on the other hand, got a bee in his bonnet that he needed to see his sister-in-law in North Carolina. He hadn't seen her or her husband for at least 3 years. So I cleared my schedule best as I could and drove with him to NC. We did the ride this past week and stayed for 2 days, then came home. I told him that fish and visitors stink after 3 days so 2 was our limit.
It was a good time to go, a good time to see my Aunt and her husband. The weather was good, the company was better. Dementia runs in our family on Mom's side, it seems. So that was one of the reasons Dad was insistent on going - to check out his sister-in-law, who he loves dearly. All is well on that front, right now. It is slow, and her husband is really doing what he can to keep it that way.
Dad, of course, has his own opinions of what to do for her, but it isn't his business. That was really our only issue. It came up, of course, on the Connecticut Tpk...yup, that's right. We made it all the way to Connecticut without discussing dementia, or Mom, or his sister-in-law.
So I did manage to sidestep his "I think I did a really good job with your Mother" comments with "You did the best you could with what you had"...but he didn't listen.
Good stuff happened, too, though. Driving is good reflection time, isn't it? Dad didn't really talk very much - I'm thinking he probably was reflecting on Mom and their drives south. They must have done that ride (south and north) over 80 times in their lives together.
On the road, we did well on the way down. We did talk a bit about some of the family rides we took south and north. He also pretty much just second guessed the GPS (I think he thinks it's like magic). He tried to set up Sirius XM on the 50's station so I let that go when we started out, then switched it to th 60's and we went up the decades over the course of the trip home. I didn't put him through Howard Stern because that would have been more likely to start a rant. Eleven and a half hours down - good time!
We did some window/cheapo shopping one day while there, so he did get the chance to tell everyone where he was from, who I was, who his sister-in-law was, where he worked, about his wife who died (and what she died from). Yeah, that was sort of fun, because I just took my Aunt and we walked away. She had a good time with it all.
We got to chat about old memories, and I found out some cool family stuff from when Mom was young, that I didn't know. Can't write about that, though. Buy me lunch, and maybe I'll spill it.
On the way back to Connecticut, we had a traffic issue, with a shutdown of I-95 outside of Fredricksburg. The GPS lady told us about it, but he didn't believe her. I let him drive after breakfast, which ended up being good because then I could verify we HAD to take the detour. I loved the detour - Spotsylvania County all through the battlefields of the Civil War. Historic and beautifully wild alternating with crops and horses.
We hit Richmond, where Phillip Morris is - the big tall sign with Marlboro on it.
"Is that Chesterfield? I think that's Chesterfield".
"It's Phillip Morris, Dad".
"That must be Chesterfield".
"Phillip Morris, Dad. It's Phillip Morris".
"I'm pretty sure that's Chesterfield, isn't it?".
"Phillip Morris".
"Oh, that's Phillip Morris."
Amazingly I kept the same monotone voice out loud. My voice in my head, though, was not so monotone.
Oh, and it took 12 and a half hours to come back - only because he said, "No traffic, huh?" when we were approaching the George Washington Bridge. Why do we always say "George Washington Bridge" anyway? It's never the Washington Bridge, sometimes the "GW", but never the "Washington".
This is my second road trip with Dad this year, and I sort of hope, with a little part of me, that I get to do another one, for good reasons. Another part of me is screaming, "Are you FREAKING crazy?"
Reflecting is a good thing for fall, isn't it?
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