Out with Mom
There's a children's book, called "Shopping with Mom". I forget who the author is, but I know my kids loved it, and so did my niece and nephew.
Some of you may have seen some great pictures of Mom yesterday. She was totally on. With this "Heimers" thing (thanks, Beth, for the term!), you never know what the new day will bring.
Dad "asked" me Sunday night if I would hang with Mom on Monday because he had a doctor appointment in the morning. Sure, I figured we'd go to Joe's for breakfast, then head to Milford to get my Christmas ornament making supplies. Monday morning, it's already after 8:30 and Dad isn't up for his appointment yet...lo and behold, he canceled it, but never told me. He figures he can live with his shoulder "issue". Then he suggested we all go to breakfast together (like I didn't see that coming!).
"No problem", I told him, "but you drive your own car since you have to be back home by 11 for Lillie." Lillie is his visiting nurse, which he really shouldn't have anymore, but he keeps finding something to complain about - now it's a "sore" on his butt. What do you think that sore is from? Yeah, me, too.
So, we head to Joe's, Mom loves Joe's. Dad complains there's no television there. What? Really, Dad? This is an old school spot - there are newspapers, and people there - who needs television? Aren't we plugged in enough? The radio plays an old school Fairfield County station. No one complains at all about that.
The waitresses know what Mom wants to eat, but Dad says it everytime like it's something new. Regular order of French toast, sugar free syrup. It used to be a short stack, but since Dad was in the hospital and I brought Mom and ordered her the regular order, she always gets that. Don't know if Dad was being cheap or what.
Mom takes her pills, drinks her coffee, then gets her breakfast, taking her time cutting up the toast. She is totally a social eater, loving her food when others are around. She hates to eat alone, and feeds Santana most of her food when she does. She's chatty, and laughing, and having a great time when she's at Joe's.
Dad finishes his food, gets up to leave. Of course, this is a 30 minute trip out to his car. He has to chat with every single person who works there, and pontificate about life, and history, and sports. Mom says, "When is he leaving? Doesn't he have to be somewhere?" We chill out for a little while longer, then go home for a few minutes. Mom is just sitting on the couch so I ask her does she want to come for a ride with me to the "crap" store. Craft store is what I'm talking about, but Mom calls it "crap".
I'm really proud of her. When she first came back from Florida in May, she wouldn't go anywhere without Dad. But since he had surgery, she's really grown her comfort zone. "Sure, I don't want to sit here all day", she says. Jacket on, we pop into the car. I have to remind her to put on her seat belt - just like we used to have to tell the kids. So, just like with the kids, I yell, "SEATBELT" and she put it on. "Where are we going" comes up about 20 times on the way to Milford.
We get to store 1, and grab a carriage. Mom is a trip in the "crap" store. She was back in the day, and is now. She tries on all kinds of things, picks up stuff off the floor. I tell her what I'm looking for, but it's really like being with kids. "I'm looking for angels, Ma" and she picks up small poinsettias and says, "these good?" Given that I know this woman, I really think she's just bustin' the chops here. A crown was next, then she grabbed some other items. Some of this was because it was a bit overwhelming to her.
As we go through the aisles, she got a bit more confused, and I knew the time was about up. We checked out, and tried to figure out if she could hang for store 2. Checking the time, I figured it would be ok, so we headed across the Post Road. This store was a bit more spread out, and she was better there.
It really was like being out with kids. Remember how you had to figure out how much time the kids had before a meltdown? Yeah, it's like that. It was even more reinforced for me when I helped her with her shower last night.
Shower time is a bit tricky. She can do most of it alone, but needs to have the shampoo reminder, and the soap reminder. "Wash your face, your neck, under your boobs, your butt...", well, you get the picture. Then , remember when your kids had the hoodie towels? Well, I help her put the towel around her body, then make a hood with the second towel to cover her hair. We use the heat lamp in the bathroom, and then go upstairs. Mom gets very worried that someone will see her "boobs" so she has to be sure she is all covered up. The only people home, besides us, are Dad and Dirk...not to worry about Dad, and Dirk? Don't really think he's interested.
All in all, it was a good day. Those of us that deal with this, whether daily or weekly, or just once in a while, do gauge the good days and the bad days. We try to guess what type of day it will be all day long, sometimes not seeing it as good or bad till bed time. This was a good day, all day long.
Some of you may have seen some great pictures of Mom yesterday. She was totally on. With this "Heimers" thing (thanks, Beth, for the term!), you never know what the new day will bring.
"No problem", I told him, "but you drive your own car since you have to be back home by 11 for Lillie." Lillie is his visiting nurse, which he really shouldn't have anymore, but he keeps finding something to complain about - now it's a "sore" on his butt. What do you think that sore is from? Yeah, me, too.
So, we head to Joe's, Mom loves Joe's. Dad complains there's no television there. What? Really, Dad? This is an old school spot - there are newspapers, and people there - who needs television? Aren't we plugged in enough? The radio plays an old school Fairfield County station. No one complains at all about that.
The waitresses know what Mom wants to eat, but Dad says it everytime like it's something new. Regular order of French toast, sugar free syrup. It used to be a short stack, but since Dad was in the hospital and I brought Mom and ordered her the regular order, she always gets that. Don't know if Dad was being cheap or what.
Mom takes her pills, drinks her coffee, then gets her breakfast, taking her time cutting up the toast. She is totally a social eater, loving her food when others are around. She hates to eat alone, and feeds Santana most of her food when she does. She's chatty, and laughing, and having a great time when she's at Joe's.
Dad finishes his food, gets up to leave. Of course, this is a 30 minute trip out to his car. He has to chat with every single person who works there, and pontificate about life, and history, and sports. Mom says, "When is he leaving? Doesn't he have to be somewhere?" We chill out for a little while longer, then go home for a few minutes. Mom is just sitting on the couch so I ask her does she want to come for a ride with me to the "crap" store. Craft store is what I'm talking about, but Mom calls it "crap".
I'm really proud of her. When she first came back from Florida in May, she wouldn't go anywhere without Dad. But since he had surgery, she's really grown her comfort zone. "Sure, I don't want to sit here all day", she says. Jacket on, we pop into the car. I have to remind her to put on her seat belt - just like we used to have to tell the kids. So, just like with the kids, I yell, "SEATBELT" and she put it on. "Where are we going" comes up about 20 times on the way to Milford.
We get to store 1, and grab a carriage. Mom is a trip in the "crap" store. She was back in the day, and is now. She tries on all kinds of things, picks up stuff off the floor. I tell her what I'm looking for, but it's really like being with kids. "I'm looking for angels, Ma" and she picks up small poinsettias and says, "these good?" Given that I know this woman, I really think she's just bustin' the chops here. A crown was next, then she grabbed some other items. Some of this was because it was a bit overwhelming to her.
As we go through the aisles, she got a bit more confused, and I knew the time was about up. We checked out, and tried to figure out if she could hang for store 2. Checking the time, I figured it would be ok, so we headed across the Post Road. This store was a bit more spread out, and she was better there.
It really was like being out with kids. Remember how you had to figure out how much time the kids had before a meltdown? Yeah, it's like that. It was even more reinforced for me when I helped her with her shower last night.
Shower time is a bit tricky. She can do most of it alone, but needs to have the shampoo reminder, and the soap reminder. "Wash your face, your neck, under your boobs, your butt...", well, you get the picture. Then , remember when your kids had the hoodie towels? Well, I help her put the towel around her body, then make a hood with the second towel to cover her hair. We use the heat lamp in the bathroom, and then go upstairs. Mom gets very worried that someone will see her "boobs" so she has to be sure she is all covered up. The only people home, besides us, are Dad and Dirk...not to worry about Dad, and Dirk? Don't really think he's interested.
All in all, it was a good day. Those of us that deal with this, whether daily or weekly, or just once in a while, do gauge the good days and the bad days. We try to guess what type of day it will be all day long, sometimes not seeing it as good or bad till bed time. This was a good day, all day long.
Comments
Post a Comment