It's been awhile...
Getting used to January with the old people is taking a bit. "It's cold" is what I hear every single day, morning, afternoon, and evening. Dad keeps saying it, as if he didn't live here for 55 years before going to Florida immediately after Christmas for the past 23 years. Mom says, "It's not that bad", just to piss him off, of course.
I've been making sure they have their gloves, hats and scarves on all the time when they go out, especially this past week. Remember when your kids were little, and you got all their outdoor gear on, then they had to go to the bathroom? Well, I try to remember to ask Mom to pee first.
Dad thinks she should only wear corduroys when it is below freezing. She has 3 pairs...so after the first week of cold, he has decided she can wear jeans as well...or else he is washing clothes twice a week.
The other day it snowed. I was outside shoveling...Dad comes out with his slippers (well, his old man slipper shoes - with the soles that are not for outside), no coat, no hat, no gloves. "I wish I could help you", he says. "DAD, GET BACK IN THE HOUSE, NOW!" "It's not that bad out here", he says. "NOW!!! IN THE HOUSE!"
Dad has become a regular at Joe's Diner. We had to hash that out. He didn't want to "hone in on my space". That's what he said. Now that Mom is taken care of four days a week, he has time to fill. He likes Joe's so I told him he could go there, but he couldn't sit with me all the time because sometimes I sit with my friends. If he was all right with that, then I didn't have any issues with him being there. Good thing my friends all like him. Well, if they don't, I wouldn't know.
He is very happy we are letting them stick around for our Superbowl fun. If you're around that day, stop by. I'm sure he'd be happy to see you. He will talk to just about anyone (wonder who inherited that ability?).
Dad is still trying to find his way around life in Connecticut in January. He doesn't really have a schedule, and I don't want him sitting home playing with his sports cards, or playing solitaire. It's not good. My goal this week is to find stuff for him to do that will keep him from doing that all day.
Mom (fingers crossed) has been good. I think the cold actually is good for her. She's sort of on the money with who is who, where she lives, and she has a bit of an appetite.
Jeremiah and I went on a turbotrip to Florida the first week of the month and brought back lots of pictures and other personal stuff from their house (left on a 6 a.m. flight Thursday, rented a car, picked up their stuff, got home Saturday early evening). I have the pictures all sitting there, some in albums, most loose. We're going to work on sorting them all out in some sort of way. I'm hoping Mom will have enough left in her to identify people (lots of Florida folks) and to identify with her life.
Mom and Dad were the cool "kids" when they first moved to Lake Fairways in 1990. They both played very good golf, were on the young side, went out alot, joined all the clubs. Mom sang in the music group, and participated in all the plays. Dad was in the Men's Club, and did lots of hospitality work. He did all the holiday decorations for Christmas in the Park. Both of them won many championships in golf. We were there to cheer Mom on during one of those championships.
This past year, though, they were the "old" stalwarts, many were younger, more active, and all are afraid that dementia is "catchy". Health issues for both of them were troublesome. Few were interesting in helping.
What was my Dad's dream retirement is now over. He hated the cold and wanted to live in Florida since we were little kids. We always had to go to Florida for vacation so he could look at property there. Mom was always along for the ride. She originally didn't want to leave us all here, especially the grands. Skype wasn't available back then in 1990, but we instant messaged every day, and watched Everyone Loves Raymond together every Monday night. It became OK with her.
This is what happens to those who move south for retirement. When family is left north, they come back. Family is needed, necessary. It becomes more important than the physical environment. I have to keep remembering that when my patience wears thin. While Mom and Dad aren't "needed" by us in the physical sense, all of us need to have them here, see them and interact with them so we remember how necessary family is, and how we all need it.
I've been making sure they have their gloves, hats and scarves on all the time when they go out, especially this past week. Remember when your kids were little, and you got all their outdoor gear on, then they had to go to the bathroom? Well, I try to remember to ask Mom to pee first.
Dad thinks she should only wear corduroys when it is below freezing. She has 3 pairs...so after the first week of cold, he has decided she can wear jeans as well...or else he is washing clothes twice a week.
The other day it snowed. I was outside shoveling...Dad comes out with his slippers (well, his old man slipper shoes - with the soles that are not for outside), no coat, no hat, no gloves. "I wish I could help you", he says. "DAD, GET BACK IN THE HOUSE, NOW!" "It's not that bad out here", he says. "NOW!!! IN THE HOUSE!"
Dad has become a regular at Joe's Diner. We had to hash that out. He didn't want to "hone in on my space". That's what he said. Now that Mom is taken care of four days a week, he has time to fill. He likes Joe's so I told him he could go there, but he couldn't sit with me all the time because sometimes I sit with my friends. If he was all right with that, then I didn't have any issues with him being there. Good thing my friends all like him. Well, if they don't, I wouldn't know.
He is very happy we are letting them stick around for our Superbowl fun. If you're around that day, stop by. I'm sure he'd be happy to see you. He will talk to just about anyone (wonder who inherited that ability?).
Dad is still trying to find his way around life in Connecticut in January. He doesn't really have a schedule, and I don't want him sitting home playing with his sports cards, or playing solitaire. It's not good. My goal this week is to find stuff for him to do that will keep him from doing that all day.
Mom (fingers crossed) has been good. I think the cold actually is good for her. She's sort of on the money with who is who, where she lives, and she has a bit of an appetite.
Jeremiah and I went on a turbotrip to Florida the first week of the month and brought back lots of pictures and other personal stuff from their house (left on a 6 a.m. flight Thursday, rented a car, picked up their stuff, got home Saturday early evening). I have the pictures all sitting there, some in albums, most loose. We're going to work on sorting them all out in some sort of way. I'm hoping Mom will have enough left in her to identify people (lots of Florida folks) and to identify with her life.
Mom and Dad were the cool "kids" when they first moved to Lake Fairways in 1990. They both played very good golf, were on the young side, went out alot, joined all the clubs. Mom sang in the music group, and participated in all the plays. Dad was in the Men's Club, and did lots of hospitality work. He did all the holiday decorations for Christmas in the Park. Both of them won many championships in golf. We were there to cheer Mom on during one of those championships.
This past year, though, they were the "old" stalwarts, many were younger, more active, and all are afraid that dementia is "catchy". Health issues for both of them were troublesome. Few were interesting in helping.
What was my Dad's dream retirement is now over. He hated the cold and wanted to live in Florida since we were little kids. We always had to go to Florida for vacation so he could look at property there. Mom was always along for the ride. She originally didn't want to leave us all here, especially the grands. Skype wasn't available back then in 1990, but we instant messaged every day, and watched Everyone Loves Raymond together every Monday night. It became OK with her.
This is what happens to those who move south for retirement. When family is left north, they come back. Family is needed, necessary. It becomes more important than the physical environment. I have to keep remembering that when my patience wears thin. While Mom and Dad aren't "needed" by us in the physical sense, all of us need to have them here, see them and interact with them so we remember how necessary family is, and how we all need it.
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