"It wasn't me"

We've heard the same phrase now over the past few months.  Every time we ask about something, Dad says, "It wasn't me."  Now, it could be about the simplest thing, like "Does anyone know where the frying pan is?" or "Why is this door open?" or "THE STOVE IS ON. WHY?"  Dad just replies, "It wasn't me."

Today was the funniest, I think.  There was a cap to a beverage container on the table.  I picked it up as I was stacking the newspapers, and said to Dad, "Why is this here?"  Dad immediately popped in with "It wasn't me."  I said, "I don't care that it wasn't you.  If you don't know why it's here, then just say I don't know." I threw the cap away.

A few days ago, it was the scariest, though.  Dirk came home, called me downstairs, and showed me the burner on low on the stove.  I was horrified, and we quietly called Dad into the kitchen.  We were calm (not an easy thing, trust me!) and collected.  Dad says as he was walking into the kitchen, "It wasn't me."  Now I'm faking my calm because now I KNOW it was him.  If I had any doubts that ended them.  Dad proceeded to blame it on others who may have cooked.

My mind just took off.  Others???  What others?  When?  Where?  Crazy people coming into my kitchen turning the front burner on low, and skipping out?  Did our dog do it?  Who are these others?  No freaking way I use the stove during the day.  Well, maybe if it is a cooking day, but that's only once a week, usually.  Like Wednesday, when I made potato salad to go with the pulled pork in the crock pot.

We just shook our heads, and looked at each other, then at Dad who was looking guilty and sheepish at the same time.  Very leprechaunish.  "Well, let's just be really careful, OK?" Dirk was much calmer than me, because now I am just plain ticked off.

We still don't know what happened, but I think Dad cooked scrambled eggs for lunch and forgot to turn the burner off.  I was already in my office so missed that part.  Add another check point to my list - if I hear pots and pans, I have to go and check the kitchen.

There are other times we hear the phrase.  A light was left on..."It wasn't me."  The water is running in the kitchen sink (we used to get in soooo much trouble if we left the faucet and it was dripping!)..."It wasn't me."  The freezer door is open (you know, just a little so the freezer keeps running all night long, after the ice cream is dished out by Dad)..."It wasn't me."

Dad also has reminded us that he is 78 years old, and an adult, and he knows better than to do any of these things.  He takes pleasure in telling me that someone else washed dishes and a spoon had to be washed again.  "I took the garbage out" he'll say, when I come in the house.

Now, I ask you, what age do you think he really is?  Because he sounds a lot like our kids did when they were in 5th and 6th grade!!

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