Chez Rozarie

For a long time, being a Mom was the ultimate identity I had. I teach this stuff for college students so I think about identity a lot. What it is...always goes to a key concept: "am I who I say I am, or who I appear to be to others". Mom is the one you call when things are hard. How many of us remember the voice screaming, "MA!"? Or the crying and running to where you are? There are so many ways our Momness takes front and center. Mom is also the one you blame when you have troubles, whether those troubles happen before you become an adult or in your young adulthood. I often blamed both my parents for not encouraging me to play more sports. Yes, I played recreation volleyball and basketball - that was what we had - no Title 9 until I was in high school. But Mom told me not to run because of my big boobs - no such thing as a sports bra in those days, either. Given my self-consciousness about those boobs, I paid attention to what she said. I didn't think to ...

Reflecting upon this past year, with too many emotions that are "opposites". Sadness and frustration, happiness and satisfaction...spent time with cousins of my youth, and their families...showed my favorite North American city to a great friend, spent time at the Casino for the WNBA games of the Sun, taught Algebra (me!), and now Criminal Justice. Family was both a pleasure and a challenge. Why I thought as I aged this would be easier, who knows! It isn't. Dealt with Dad's accident, came together with family (well, some of us) for care issues. We're glad he didn't end up a floater, for sure. Mom is still in my mind, as are Nancy and Carla. I said "in" and mean that. "On", to me, just sits on top, floats around, up and down and all around. "In" means in there - poking around at memories and thoughts and plans - sometimes a great fit, other times like a splinter. Friends dealt with loss, sadly - my thoughts and support are wi...

This is a road trip summer for me. It began with a trip to southern Illinois to see a cousin that I saw almost 60 years ago. It was great to meet her as adults, and to spend valuable time with her and the family. That connection is important to me and it was worth the time - every mile of driving! Got to travel half way with a friend to meet her friend and spend the night as well. If you know me at all, you know I am an observer and love to meet people - I'm one of those people who never "met a stranger". Next trip was with my lifelong friends to a place where people live all of their lives - Pennsylvania Dutch country. We missed one of us terribly, but hope to catch up with her for next year's journey. Lifelong friends are truly your family of choice. Also fun and full of laughing! Lucky enough to rent a farmhouse. Unlike slumber parties of old, there is no sleeping in bags on the floor - we each had our own rooms, in comfy beds! A little wine, a little cider...pig...

Some of you know I am not a big fan of Mother's Day. Years ago, when I became a mother, we had the Mothers over for Mother's Day. Some years it was cold cuts, other years, burgers and dogs. We always had a homemade cake. Then one year I had enough of that. So my sister Carla had a brunch that she set up and invited all her folks to - it was lovely, of course. I came across pictures of it when going through her photos. It was in the community room at Tide Harbor .where she lived at the time. She made eggs, and meats, there was fruit salad, pastries, rolls. Orange and other fruit juices. Really nice, but a LOT of work. Now Carla was thought by many not to have had any children, but in reality, she raised a bunch of kids over the years. Like many people, she learned (as did all of her kids) that you do not have to give birth to a person to raise that person right - to be a Mother. Just like all of us Mothers, she learned that even with the best of intentions, those children go t...

Having some trouble with the most recent family member passing on. Carla left us in December, and it still isn't real to me. Even after cleaning out her apartment (and I wasn't the one who did most of it...), and going through pictures, it is still a bit unreal to me. So tonight, when I took out the garbage can (only 1 this week!), I looked up at the sky and saw all the stars. We think about stars in so many different ways. There are the stars of big and little screen, of music, theater, local stars. Then there are the stars in the sky - the ones that form constellations, that gleam with light. Of course I know that these balls of light are plasma held together with gravity (hey - I did teach Big History, which included all this science stuff). But don't they seem so other worldly and heavenly? I can understand how those ancient people named these pieces of the sky, linking them as shapes that anthropomorphize them - put them into people. We sit outside at night, in the...

When we reflect on the past, it is often either the most recent past or long ago times that come to mind. Yet a reflection should be about a subject or specific, I think. Family comes to mind this year, as the ashes that we have custody of increased, and family members are not here anymore. Family are also not in the country this year as lives have become more global. We close another year having more knowledge first hand of our own country, having traveled across much of it. Family isn't just blood as we all should know by now. My pleasure this year was to travel with some of the best people in my life ever. We flew, drove, walked, laughed, cried, drank. ate, talked in no specific order. 6 women, who started in life in similar places, went through life in part together, in part separate, raised kids, worked in many careers. Common threads, with common dreams. We want the best for our families, have different ideas of how to get that for and with them. Bonds once forged and broke...